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[Chris]

-Presented by St. Mary's Church:

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.

-Frequently wears black clothing.
-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nail polish.
-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.
-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.
-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.
-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
-Takes drugs.
-Drinks alcohol.
-Is suicidal and/or depressed.
-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)
-Complains of boredom.
-Sleeps too excessively or too little.
-Is excessively awake during the night.
-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
-Spends large amounts of time alone.
-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)
-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this.
-Misbehaves at school.
-Misbehaves at home.
-Eats excessively or too little
-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)
-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
-Expresses an interest in sex.
-Masturbates.
-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
-Claims to be a goth.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center

[Foreskin Ninja]

Holy shit, my mum's a goth!

[Acey Trixx]

so this would mean that everyone is a goth then...or so it would seem..and that list is just plain ridiculous also..

[PrincessHolly]

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

What the fuck? My sister eats Frosties does that mean she wants to be a Tiger? I better stop eating Coco Pops before the KKK come after me.

Hmm I'm about 10 of those.


Is this the only way to get passed the wrath of Satan?

These are my favourite...

-Claims to be a goth.

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth"

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

That list is great!! I wish I was a goth!

[Hogisbald]

Imprinted once called me a "Goth art fag". Now, Imprinted rocks but..... 1) I am bald and like metal, not really a goth, 2) ok, hit it on the head I love art, 3) My sexuality is within the realms on appreciating ladies only.

There ya go

"-Claims to be a goth."

almost as mush as a giveaway as a "is your child taking drugs?" booklet that listed "finding pills or strange substances in their room" as one of the warning signs

[Rachie]

Some people actually have no clue.

"Hinduism" is a dangerous cult religion??? Hinduism is older than Christianity!

I'd say that list prolly makes just about every single person in Aberdeen a goth.

"Dances provocatively to music".

Christ, does that mean the lassies with the mini skirts and bubble gum lipstick at liquid are Goffs then too?

[Slutbags McGee]

Originally Posted by PrincessHolly

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.

What the fuck? My sister eats Frosties does that mean she wants to be a Tiger? I better stop eating Coco Pops before the KKK come after me.

now THAT was a good answer ha ha