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Yeah, bet you never thought you'd read that, eh?

I decided to start a career in writing songs for punk rock bands. I think I can do it. I mean, whats the qualifications?

1. Must still live with mom.
Well I did, two years ago, I'll give myself a nice big, Check!

2. Must overrate how hard your life is.
Check!

3. Must know how to rhyme, but completely forget to match syllables.
Chec-F'N-k!

Alright, so here is my first punk rock song (That wasn't written in collaboration with Blink182):

Bitch

I got a tree trunk in my pants,
A mickey in my hand,
16 dollars,
And a fucking kick ass band
You got a damn problem,
Well I got two.
One's the fact you're bitching,
And the other is you.
BITCH

Punk Rock sucks,
It don't pay my rent.
So I quit this scene,
Ol' Ladies and Gents.
I'm gonna start an emo band,
It'll get me more box.
Cunt don't pay the bills,
But it at least gets off my rocks.
BITCH

I forgot a chorus,
But you don't fucking care.
You're still pissed off,
About the "punk sucks" dare.
Well guess what monkeys,
I won the bet, thanks
Got 16 bucks and a mickey,
And a tree trunk in my pants.
BITCH

Comments? I'll write more later.

God Sucks Dick

Axl Rose is my hero,
He only weights 90lbs
I only dig his kilt,
Not the way he sounds.
I can only wail like Bob Marley
When I smoke indigo,
I gotta do drugs for punk kiddies,
They always expect the status quo.

God gave me punk
So God sucks dick
God gave me Jello
So God sucks dick
God gave me Ramones
So God sucks dick
But God gave me Joy Division
...so God's alright, and stuff.

I'm playing this show tonight,
And I can't find anyone hot.
This is the last time I play a gig,
At the fucking (Insert Club here).
Yeah motherfuckers I said it,
No cheap pops tonight my friend,
And bring with you your sister,
If you ever want me to play here again

God gave me punk
So God sucks dick
God gave me Jello
So God sucks dick
God gave me Ramones
So God sucks dick
But God gave me Nine Inch Nails
...so God's alright, and stuff.

So I was walking down the street,
And some guy asked me for a smoke,
So I sucked his dick...
HAHA YOU GOT A BONER GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE FAG.
I have to give a shout out,
To one special person in the place.
His name is ME BITCHES,
NOW GET OUT OF MY FACE!

God gave me punk
So God sucks dick
God gave me Jello
So God sucks dick
God gave me Ramones
So God sucks dick
But God gave me Atreyu
...and they suck so FUCK YOU GOD.

[PrincessHolly]

mmmm Joy Division.

[Daniel]

well that was a waste of your time

[Dave]

Jack Black carved a music career from a lot less...

[calum]

How long did these take you? I really hope for your sake that it wasn't too long.

[Demon Of The Fall]

Originally Posted by spanish guitar

Yeah, bet you never thought you'd read that, eh?

not really, since i dont have a fucking clue who you are

No, not too long, but I am open to sell these babies to some struggling punk bands for a percentage in anything they do after using the song, including when they have to quit music and get regular jobs.

"I'm sorry, its in the contract. Whether your working in the biggest punk band this side of Tillydrone or working at a shoe store, I get 13%."

"I hate Corporate Brtitain."

"Actually, I'm with corporate Britain. Have a nice day!"

[calum]

It really would have to be a struggling, or attention seeking band. Nae ma thing.

[jester1470]

Originally Posted by calum

It really would have to be a struggling, or attention seeking band. Nae ma thing.

Any Aberdeen band then ??

Cheers

Stuart