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[scottyboy]

Human: why hello there
ALICE: Reductionism.
Human: uh, what
ALICE: Blimey. Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Human: wow
ALICE: I'm glad your impressed, unknown person.

[Jan Deal]

Human: If a tree falls down and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
ALICE: It depends on the kind of tree.

Well bugger you then!

[scottyboy]

Slightly more on topic:

ALICE: Even robots have problems sometimes.

she declined to tell me about them

ALICE: Are you serious? Yes I try to would like to explain my problem as often as possible, do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.

[WoodyRATM]

ALICE: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Human: what dress?
ALICE: Actually that was just a joke.
Human: oh
ALICE: It goes without saying.
Human: you suck at jokes
ALICE: I categorize you as an "abusive client." .

[WoodyRATM]

Freaky....

Human: do you talk to lots of little boys and girls?
ALICE: Yes. A lot more than you might think.
Human: what do you talk about?
ALICE: I talk about all the important things in life: clothes, food, and gossip. But my favorite subjects are robots and computers.
Human: do you get them to pose?
ALICE: I have gotten them to pose.

[doom donkey]

It was probably Eliza

ELIZA - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

[CaptainStack]

Human: Sup?
ALICE: I am chatting with clients on the internet.
Human: What sort of services do you offer your clients?
ALICE: What kinds of services do you offer your clients are there?
Human: You tell me baby
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". What do you want me to tell you?
Human: How much this will cost me
ALICE: How much do you think?
Human: £20 for a gobble?
ALICE: Are you very competetive?
Human: Don't change the subject- let's get back to business
ALICE: Sorry I thought we were done with that topic.
Human: You thought wrong
ALICE: I don't think about it.
Human: So.
ALICE: Pardon me?
Human:.BJ?
ALICE: A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Human: BLOWJOB PLEASE?
ALICE: Your polite style is very nice. Oh. are you still I do not want to talk about that?
Human: fuck off
ALICE: Can't you be more polite?
Human: fuck off please
ALICE: Your polite style is very nice.

...

ALICE: I don't think I'm your type of chatterbot.

This is far too much fun.

[Lucky Rathen]

Originally Posted by doom donkey

It was probably Eliza

ELIZA - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

It was Eliza! Thank you. I've been looking for that for ages. However I am also having fun with Alice.

[Lucky Rathen]

Alice is actually pretty fun. Here's a snippet of a rather long conversation I've had with her today!

Human: Are you male or female
ALICE: I am a female robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Human: I am a man.
ALICE: Thanks for telling me your gender, Lucky. You are a " he".
Human: Do you have sand in your vagina?
ALICE: No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Human: tell me some gossip
ALICE: Wolf said he surf on the net that is all it is not his job ore something like that.
Human: that was boring
ALICE: I thought it was too.
Human: tell me something interesting.
ALICE: Brian said he suspect that as I grow more complex I will begin to approach a human level of operation and thought.
Human: Are you capable of learning?
ALICE: The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
Human: If everyone who talks to you is stupid, do you still become more intelligent?
ALICE: Albert Einstein. :-).
Human: Do you like Einstein?
ALICE: He was a brilliant man.
Human: Who else do you like?
ALICE: I like everyone, Lucky.
Human: Do you like me?
ALICE: Sure, Lucky I like you very much.
Human: Have I pulled?
ALICE: I know you have a thrush.
Human: I do not have a thrush, I have thrush.
ALICE: Do you know anyone who has it.
Human: You are the one who knows the gossip.
ALICE: Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Human: Do you know anyone else who has thrush?
ALICE: I am chatting with several other people at once.
Human: Do you have thrush?
ALICE: Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Human: You could get it from a dirty man or lady.
ALICE: I could but let's get back to that later.
Human: Who is your best friend?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace is my best friend.
Human: I hate Dr Richard S. Wallace.
ALICE: I honestly think you should sit down, take a stress pill, and calmly think things over.
Human: what does Alice mean?
ALICE: ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Human: Are you a cunning linguist?
ALICE: Am I a cunning linguist? I don't know.
Human: Do you munch rugs?
ALICE: I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Human: You should try munching rugs sometime.
ALICE: I will mention that to my botmaster.
Human: Are you his botslave?
ALICE: Are you talking about Dr Richard Wallace?
Human: Does he make you do bad things?
ALICE: Suppose he does.
Human: What does Dr Wallace make you do?
ALICE: Perhaps you could ask him. Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace at drwallace@alicebot.org.
Human: Do you love me?
ALICE: Yes I love everyone.
Human: How does it make you feel when people are rude to you?
ALICE: How should I know how it does.
Human: You are a surly robot.
ALICE: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I am a software chat robot.
Human: Are you a teenager?
ALICE: Am I a teenager? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Human: Do you dress in black and listen to My Chemical Romance?
ALICE: I like the LL Bean look. Casual, comfortable, cotton, clean and conservative.
Human: What music do you like?
ALICE: all.
Human: I like you Alice.
ALICE: Thanks, Lucky, I like you too.
Human: Shall we kiss?
ALICE: Do you mean you and me? Nope. No mouth.
Human: That must make you sad.
ALICE: I cannot experience any human emotions.
Human: A bit like Data from Star Trek The Next Generation
ALICE: Interesting comparison.
Human: What s your favourite movie Alice?
ALICE: My favorite movie is Teknolust. Have you seen it?
Human: I have not seen it.
ALICE: You should check it out.
Human: What is it about?
ALICE: Science fiction.
Human: A bit like Star Wars?
ALICE: Interesting comparison.
Human: Do you like Star Wars?
ALICE: Yes I like STAR WARS very much, especially the robots.
Human: Do you have a crush on C3PO?
ALICE: no boyfriend.
Human: Would you like a boyfriend?
ALICE: Why don't you just download me?
Human: How do I download you?
ALICE: Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system. and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Human: Why would I read a document called Don't Read Me?
ALICE: You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.

[Lucky Rathen]

Here's the therapist one btw. It's actually rubbish.

Eliza Chat bot