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[The Ghost Of Fudge]

ha. i know who won what now. i know. ha. you don't.

but if i'm drunk i might hint. but i might be lying, do you see.

anyway, i can assure you there have been some suprises this year. and also some crushing inevitability

you'll find out all very soon. oh yes.

i heard that that there are going to be pole dancers from bugsy browns making an appearence and showing ther useless fuckwits who cant pole dance how its done

watch out for the slug trails people

bet eric euan dont win best rock act, when they are by far the best rock act,

the best democracy mates can buy

i also heard that brian will be dishing out syphallis to any girls interested

[Nicky Ca$ino]

Should I start filming my acceptance speech video, or is there going to be a live satellite link-up? I could write a letter if that would be more convenient.

[nullmouse]

I heard that due to a leak from one of the voters, bootlegged versions of Aberdeen bands had been found on the internet.

I heard that Brian was going to bare (or it could have been 'be') a right tit at the awards.

And if the rumours are to be believed, the Fudge Boys have awarded themselves 'lifetime acheivement award' for the time they both successfully tied their own shoelaces.

Is it possible that the word on the street is correct, that Bond*age has been usurped from best club night?

[AndY]

i heard that Andy from My decaying leg is gona be so drunk he cant talk at the fudge awards like every other night in the past 5 months cause he has a drinking problem oh hold on thats fact! oh hold on thats me

[delboy]

some unofficial fudge award rumours.....

brian and craig will simulate an act of sexual nature on the stage involving empty bottles of vodka and a cardboard cutout of denim boogie rock experts status quo

zombie munch will win 'most punchable person' award and will promptly invite the entire audience to 'come and have a go if you think your hard enough'

the most shaggable female award will be won by a goat

special guest for the night will be frank gilfeather who will duet with the gloria flaw on a version of kelly maries (no not her from river city but some late 70's disco bird) 'feels like im in love'

members of sidca will stay sober

[spellchecker]

i heard the dance floor is going to be covered in sand. its purpose is twofold. firstly, when all the emo stars start gushing whilst accepting their awards for most amazing new bands and the like, the sand will soak up the tears. secondly, a bloody riot will start. at the end of the night staff will not mop the dancefloor, they will just shovel it, so heavy shall it be with spilt sanguine and severed limbs.

here's hoping anyway.

[The Ghost Of Fudge]

i can't believe quik won best band. crazy.

[AndY]

fuck you guys tell me i havent missed the awards???? did MDL win most missed act? oh fuck if i was sobre this would make sence! ahh!

No you haven't missed them, the awards are on the 21st!

Would anyone like to lend me some groovy clothes for the event?