[Shaki]

Originally Posted by dieselfeet

Watched it on Sky last night....

...TOP GUN...

Absolutely hilarious

There's so much to laugh about...

• Goose's paedo 'tache
• Maverick's pishy, flabby wee pecs - obviously trying to be an adonis like Kilmer or Rossovich
• The badly diguised gay subtext - a big testosterone-fuelled, macho movie with hardly any minge in it? Hmmmm....
• Kelly McGillis's big bappit coupon and her seamed stockings
• The complete lack of sexual chemistry between the leads - I don't think Maverick actually pumps it at any stage
• The Cruiser's blank expression passing for angst and emotion
• The diabolical faux "hard rock" soundtrack - complete with Kenny Loggins nasal vocals.
• The stupid, stupid macho "call signs" - Maverick, Iceman, Viper ad nauseum - gie's fucking peace - it should be Poofman, Wankyboy and Spunkbags
• The inevitable "What I'm about to tell you about your disgraced father is classified, son" revelation.
• Val Kilmer's woodentop "acting" - I've seen a bag of lentils emote more convincingly than that. To be fair to the Valmiester, he's been good in subsequesnt movies
• But above all it's the risible dialogue with McGillis in her 80's power-dress suit telling hairy-arsed pilots how to outmanouver MIGs "Double helix, parabolic, inverted triple-loops, with a twist of lemon" Pish! - if you're going to contrive to cast a burd in a role like that, at least 3 of the guys should get to shag it...at the same time...up the erse and everything!

Having said all that, it's completely and utterly watchable - like a car crash or dogging (so they tell me), you know you shouldn't, but you just can't help it.

DZL

Your ego's writing cheques your body can't cash.