[NARC]

Since I shall have no access to a computer tomorrow for various reasons (my advanced state of inebriation, exam revision, a more truer application of the rules regarding Sunday in Andalucía), may I take this opportunity to wish a happy 17th, 18th, 56th etc to the illustrious gentry that you can take the pleasure of seeing above.

As for me? Well:

I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
'Cause you're evil, and you lie
And if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
(But I won't cry)

Loved and lost
And some may say:
"When usually it's nothing, surely you're happy it should be this way?"
I say: "No, I'm gonna kill my dog"
May the lines sag, the lines sag heavy and deep tonight

I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
'Cause you're evil, and you lie
And if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
(But I won't cry)

Loved and lost
And some may say:
"When usually it's nothing, surely you're happy it should be this way?"
I said: "No", and then I shot myself
So drink, drink, drink and be ill tonight

From the one you left behind.