Good song. The timing changes make it more interesting, and it's a decent melody. You sound quite nervous though, and you need to tighten up a bit. That will come with practice though. You just need to make sure that you are all playing exactly in time with each other, and complementing what the others are doing. For example the bass player should listen to what the drummer's bass drum is doing, and play along with the rhythm, and the guitarist can try to fit in with the vocal melody etc. practicepracticepracticepractice...
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