[patrick boo]

When I was about eight or nine, a strange thing started to happen: assassinations became fashionable. First John Lennon, then the Pope and Ronald Reagan were targets. I remember thinking at the time that it was all very well trying to kill famous people, but why not go for more obvious targets, those more deserving of a bullet through the back of the neck? At the time I could think of loads of people, those I remember thinking about were Benny Hill, TVs Ted Rogers and most of all the blokes from Abba. I couldn't understand why there weren't teams of renegade snipers queuing up on the rooftops every time those two smug antiseptic beardies stepped out of a hotel...

So, I want to bring that spirit of youth back right now. Which inane nonentity do you want to see peeled with a rusty razor and sprayed in vinegar whilst strung up on a pylon on the M6?