[patrick boo]

You know what I'd really love to see this year when all the awards ceremonies come around? For one artiste/act/robot/puppet to get up on stage to receive an award and say,
"Of course this award is extra special because it's voted for by YOU, the public. It's extra specially worthless, 'cuz as we all know but won't say, the public are a bunch of clueless fucking idiots."

Now I didn't watch 'Pop Idol', we can't get ITV here, but I reckon it gives me a good perspective on it, as the first I see is the 'winner', chosen by the fucking public. I remember a heated debate I had with Delbert around this time last year when I maintained that Girls Aloud were a great pop group because they had a bunch of cool songs that suited them, their image was great (especially the silver suits - yum) and they had the good sense to let Betty Boo write a couple of tracks for them. I was seeing that from the perspective of someone who hadn't formed prejudices over a six week period because these people never entered my consciousness until they were a fully formed, groomed, slick outfit.

Anyhoo, I've just seen this year's 'winner'. You stupid bunch of fucks, the public! Gone for something radically different this year have we? Sick of pop puppets? Duh. Now I'll go out on a limb here, especially as I don't know what the competition was, but I'll say here and now that the only reason that big-boned fuckwitted karaoke tart won was because she is fat. Newsflash people - the emperor's new clothes go all the way up to size 20! Of course it's not a radical departure at all because, despite the way she looks, she still queued up with all the other desperate emptyheaded shitters to go into a room and sing, 'That Don't Impress Me Much' or 'I Will Always Love You' and at the same time offer herself as an easily manipulated fame-whore to the industry machine. Thing is though, the public are stupid but also fickle, so if you do happen to be fat and ugly you have to be really really good for them not to tire of you and send you back to your McJob. Rik Waller, anyone?

It's not that I hate the whole process of the pop industry - I just don't want to see it. I want to see the end, not the means. You don't find out how a magician does his trick before he does it, do you? That wouldn't be very entertaining. Same way as you watch a film before you find out how they did the special effects on one of those DVD thingies (I venture you shouldn't watch those at all, but that's a whole other thread). Now try it with pop music. Try not watching these talent shows, not voting, not reading the tabloids, then judge the outcome when it's finished. Now, the public, turning off and doing something less boring instead, what a radical departure that would be!

That's better. I need a shit now.